I forgot to mention, in the throes of excitement over my flannel pajamas, that for Christmas, Ned also got me a one-day pass for....snowboarding. Did I mention that I Am Not Athletic? At All? I could look at this situation kindly, and think that Ned sure does have a lot of faith in me. Or I could look at this suspiciously, and wonder if Ned knows the 1st damn thing about me. Positive Pig is going with the former.
So, tomorrow is the big day. I'm going with my friend, whose name I would love to cleverly disguise, but, as Jackie says, is just SUCH a 'Stacy'. And Stacy she is. She drives a red Bronco and drives it like it's a RED BRONCO. I have never felt more safely unsecure in my life. I think her car is one of my favorite places to be. She's also the daughter of a cop, so she glides through intersections with no glance back, and signalling is optional. I feel like I'm in the cool kid's club when I'm in her car.
She's picking me up around 9:30 tomorrow morning. Ned is watching the baby (Toddler. Okay, I get it. She's not a baby anymore.). Yes, Ned babysits our kids. No, I am not a feminist. He loads my bank account and I keep house. F-ing sick. Works for me.
Ned stared at me a second too long when he got home tonight and said "I hope Kazy's okay tomorrow." That's what he calls the baby. (Toddler.) My sister Ro has pointed out the irony more than once, since, really, there's "nothing crazy about her." I think Ned is fully competent of dealing with uncrazy Kazy.
NDW commented today that after my roller blading scenario, she doesn't even want to know about my snowboarding experience. Well, me either. But I think I am going with the right person. Stacy is Nice. Just like Ned is Nice. (We have been together 10 years and he is still the nicest person I have ever met. Does that throw you for a loop? You can be negative and nice. Ned is.) I haven't exactly tested her yet (besides always making her be the DD), but I'm pretty sure she won't leave me on the Bunny Hill. If she does, I'll blog about it. That'll show Stacy not to F&$k with Postive Pig.
dude, snowboarding is haaaaaard! but stace has got your back. you might only come back with a small concussion. i will pray for you, and subsequently, my basement ;)
ReplyDeleteand what the heck but you never ever post at night! i'am shocked and giddy at the same time upon this discovery.
ReplyDeletewho's nicer me or ned? wait til you see your end of january present. errrrr.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. I cant say that that was the best gift to get you. I think Damon is really secretly laughing at you or praying hard that one day you will magically transform into Athletic Amy. I hope he also bought you a massage because your gonna need it.
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