Ned might have a substance abuse problem.

So, remember when I said that my blog misrepresents my actual life? That Ned is not Negative, and I am not a booze hound? Well, it may be harder (and more humbling) to prove this theory than I thought.
On Fat Tuesday, I didn't stand a chance against 6 vodka tonics, 4 Sam Adams, a shot of Jameson, and a hand rolled cigarette. (Numbers may or may not be accurate. Who's counting?) I also didn't stand a chance against the awfully respectable Meg McCardle. And it didn't help that Ned was living up to his blog reputation by sitting on the very end with one eye on the Sabres game the entire night.  I'm pretty sure Ned told them he calls me "skank." I'm also pretty sure it wasn't apparent that he was kidding. I'm wondering how distorted or accurate my blog version of my life is.

Kiwi asked me the next day how it went, and I said "Fun. For me, anyway. I may have caught Ian (Meg's husband) off guard on more than one occasion. Overall, a little 'FML' but whatever.'  Kiwi's response? She asked if I had Meg's husband eat a maraschino cherry off of my (nursing) bra. I think she was trying to keep things relative, but the thing is-  I may or may not have. I did threaten to punch him in the face. I was kidding. LMAO?

Anyway, I am enjoying not drinking. And Ned is thoroughly enjoying me not drinking. He said today that beer can be just as expensive as cocaine, if you don't watch it. Ned? Who are you, anyway. He does honk when he blows his nose. Is that a sign of a coke habit? Not drinking has really given me an almost divine ability to discern substance abuse problems.

Maybe someday, Ned won't honk when he blows his nose, I'll wear cleavage-less cardigans (forgot to mention the cleavage part. I'm feeling like a real tranny these days), drink Sprite, and we'll both wake up real respectable-like. Until then, thanks for the sympathetic smiles.