The Animals in Ned's House

When I die, and Ned is going through my belongings, I suspect that there will be nary a tear shed. Rather, I imagine Ned sitting on a chair, a garbage can between his knees, and him groaning, "What the h%$l is all this S*@t??" I realized this today while Ned was unloading our cabinets to have the insides painted. (!!!!!) Instead of gently removing our beautiful decor, and thinking appreciatively of all my feminine efforts made at making his home a home, Ned bellowed my name, and when I rushed in, asked me for a cardboard box to put all this 'crap' in. (He pulled out the C word. I started looking for my keys.)

This is what Ned expects when he opens a drawer in our house.
Swear to God.

The annoying thing is, I am far from a hoarder. Every week I bring a bag of stuff to church to donate. Not junk. Just stuff. I use the "use it today?" rule (if I wouldn't use it today, I'm probably not gonna. So I get rid of it.). Try telling Ned that I have a system. It's bordering on delusional, the way he scans my living room. The neat stack of blankets? To Ned, it's as ineffectual as a stack of pet beds for a pet we do not, nor will we ever have. The lined wicker basket full of baby toys? In Ned's eyes it's about as beneficial in our home as a basket of  pet toys. The wooden chest full of Ned's workout equipment, strategically placed to appear as a rustic piece straight out of Country Living? Not to Ned. This is as futile as a bunch of pet carriers would be in our household. My point with all the pet references? That Ned prefers blank canvases as rooms, with mantels holding only hockey pucks and the only storage needed is a fridge and a modest closet for his work clothes. I sometimes wonder if I should remind Ned that I am his wife, we live together, and we have 3 kids. And we're only human. He has very high standards. But then I think about him lowering them, and how depressing that would be.  It's a luxury of dear Ned's, and it's a part of dear Ned, to look at the rustic trunks and lined baskets and say, "What the He#& is all of this Crap?"