Martha Stewart does not own a bathrobe. She believes in popping out of bed, making the bed, showering, dressing, and emerging from the bedroom the queen you know you are. I read this last night around 9:30 p.m..... 9:30 P.M. and lying in bed trying for the 8th time to get the baby to stay asleep. (So what if she's 15 months? At least I'm attached to her.) Ned was watching the football game, feet up (literally), beer in hand (he said "Who buys light beer?". Not "I love how you always have cold beer for me" . But it's okay. It's Ned.)
Yesterday was a bit of a recovery. Again. The night after the Hermans, my dear (as my mom would say) friend Monie texted me to go out for a drink. Not even an option. But she came over. And brought another flippin' 12 pack. And I was in, hook, line, and sinker. And another late night prevailed.Which led to me reading about Martha Stewart in bed at 9:30. Listening to Ned in the living room. And getting severely depressed that I own, not to mention wear, a bathrobe. Suddenly my life was terribly objective. I clean my house, with my hair up, in a red L.L.Bean bathrobe every morning. I sometimes clear Ned's plate before he's done. What I thought was fun money saving was suddenly bored and desperate. (Why bother? Honestly, who cares?) These are my tired thoughts. When my kids are crazy-tired, I try and remember that I STILL get crazy when I'm tired. But while they cry and scream, I think I see the truth of my life.
This morning is much better. I confidently put on my bathrobe and cleaned my house. In front of Ned. (He didn't notice.) Realizing we were low on dish soap, I made a mental note to check soap.com to avoid a trip to Target (avoiding Target saves millions. Literally. Target is a red and white polka dotted budgetless hole.) BTW- click the link on my sidebar and you'll get 20% off there. And free shipping over $25. Just do it. Please. For my sake. So that the next time I find myself sleep-deprived and self-loathing, I can remember that you, Liz G., use soap.com too.
who IS lizg? and why is she makin out with her significant other?
ReplyDeleteif it makes you feel any better, you've set me in a desperate search for the perfect bathrobe to wear while i 'clean.' Because everything you do is right, joey.
ps if that first line was too abrasive you can delete my comment. no hard feelins.
I have two bathrobes joh, one long, one short. and I love them a lot. what's mortifying is when the dog is barking like crazy outside, and I step outside STILL in my bathrobe and glasses at 12:30 in the afternoon. I pray to god no one is walking by to see the sight. I guess what I'm saying is, everything is fine. At least you wouldn't allow yourself to be seen in a bathrobe by anyone other than your immediate family. Bathrobes rock, who cares what Martha has to say about that :)
ReplyDeletesince it was 3 posts in until i found out you had a blog (tsk, tsk) i tortured you with anticipation as i waited another 3 posts to follow and then comment. i hope you suffered hardily as I did!
ReplyDeletelove and smooches ;)
holy mothers nikid. you're quite clean and mean yourself:)
ReplyDeleteHA you would not want to know how many bathrobes WE have. 5 news ones just arrived at the new house plus we have the 3 here in the apartment. However, I do NOT clean in my bathrobe- gosh what are you thinking?
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving me a bathrobe and dragging me down with you.
ReplyDelete